Girls, Delulu is the solulu. Delulu is Faith but in Internet language. And no, I’m not trying to be funny.

“I can’t do it”

“Oh, I don’t think I will pass that exam” “I’m not good enough”

If you have ever said any of the above lines to yourself, you need to stop. Many times, our inner voices say negative things to us, and we may not realize it. However, what if I tell you that speaking positively to yourself will impact your life hugely? Want to find out how? Keep reading!

Self-talk is an internal dialogue we have with ourselves–conversations we have in our heads about how we want our day to go, what we want to wear, what we would like to eat, how we would like to resolve conflict, etc. Whether we realize it or not, we have discussions in our heads. These thoughts can either be positive or negative. Now Positive self-talk at its core, refers to the practice of speaking to oneself in encouraging, kind, and loving words. It replaces using harsh or judgmental words about yourself. When you do Positive self-talk, you do not verbally abuse or bully

yourself because of mistakes you have made. It is being your cheerleader and constantly rooting for yourself no matter what.

BENEFITS OF POSITIVE SELF TALK

1. Positive self-talk helps in increasing your confidence.
2. Positive self-talk helps in relieving stress and anxiety. When you speak positively to yourself, you remind yourself that you are capable of doing anything even in the face of struggle.
3.   Positive self-talk helps you have better mental health. A positive mindset is closely linked to improved mental health. When you self-compassion and affirm your worth, it can help you manage anxiety, depression, and other emotional struggles.
4. Positive self-talk makes you more resilient.
5. Speaking more positively to yourself helps you improve your relationship with others. When you extend grace to yourself and you are kinder to yourself, you will be more compassionate towards others.
6. Positive self-talk helps you stay motivated, focused, and willing to take risks. This mindset leads to more opportunities for success— in your career, personal life, or health.

HOW TO PRACTICE POSITIVE SELF-TALK

1. Be aware of your thoughts: The best way to practice self-talk is to identify what thoughts you are having first. When you are faced with challenges or struggles, what are the words that come to mind? What do you say to yourself first? Do you tell yourself that you can handle it? Or your first reaction to situations like that is to give up and tell yourself it is too much to handle.

When you answer these questions and identify the kind of thoughts you have, you can effectively work on them. Awareness is the key to change.

• Challenge your negative thoughts; Once you have identified that you usually have negative thoughts, challenge them. Ask yourself if they are true. Are they based on facts? Can you really not do it? Are you really weak? Is it truly too much to handle? Sometimes, you realize that these thoughts are a result of fear and not because you are truly a failure.

When these thoughts come, do not dwell on them. Instead, replace them with positive statements. So instead of saying to yourself, “I don’t think I can pass the test. It is too hard”. Say “ I can pass the test. It may be hard, but I will put in the work and I will do great!”.

• Use Positive Affirmations: On the FeminineandFlattering Instagram page, we put up carefully curated positive affirmations for the day. This is because we understand how important it is to start your day with positive words. When you say positive words to yourself, you reprogram your mind and your thoughts. When you repeat those words to yourself, they become ingrained in your subconscious and eventually become your reality.

You can write down some positive affirmations that resonate with you and are tailored to fit every aspect of your life and keep saying them. You can put it on a sticky note and paste it in your room or on your bathroom walls. When you are feeling discouraged, say them again and again! Say it until you become it! Examples of Positive affirmations include :

• I am worthy of love, success, and happiness.
  • I believe in myself and my abilities.
  • I am confident and capable of achieving my goals.
  • Success is within my reach, and I am on the right path.
  • I trust in the process and believe in my dreams.
• Be kinder to Yourself: Dear woman, you are human. Sometimes, we are our own worst critics. We judge ourselves for mistakes we make even if they are small. Think of it this way— if your friend comes to you and tells you that she made the same mistake you are judging yourself over, what would you tell her? Wouldn’t you be kinder to her? Wouldn’t you encourage her to not dwell on the mistakes she made? Now how much more yourself? Instead of beating yourself up over mistakes or failures, practice self-compassion. Remind yourself that it’s okay not to be perfect and that everyone makes mistakes.
• Surround yourself with Positive energy: Your environment and the people you surround yourself with also play a role in the type of mindset you have. If you are always around people who project negativity, having a positive outlook on life may be hard. Surround yourself with people who uplift you and encourage you to be your best self. Read books, listen to podcasts, or watch videos that inspire and motivate you.

• Focus on the things YOU can control: There are several things you cannot control in life like people’s behavior, the future, etc. However, if there is something you can control, it is how you respond to certain situations when it arises. Instead of focusing on the things that stress you out, channel your attention and energy to things within your control. Remind yourself that you have the power to handle the situation, take action, and learn from any setbacks.
• Be delusional about your success: Girl, sometimes be delusional about your achievements! You don’t have the job yet? Say you will get it. In fact, it is yours! It doesn’t have to make sense to anybody but you. Just put in the work and all the effort necessary to achieve your goals. Speak life into yourself when you feel discouraged.

Our thoughts are powerful. They shape how we see the world, how we approach challenges, and how we feel about ourselves. When you speak positively to yourself, you can unlock a world of possibilities. The magic of positive self-talk isn’t just about thinking happy thoughts; it’s about empowering yourself to take action, believe in your potential, and face life’s challenges with confidence.

Next time you find yourself slipping into negative self-talk, pause and ask yourself: What would happen if I spoke to myself like I would to a good friend? The answer: You’d feel more capable, confident, and ready to take on the world.

How often do you say negative things to yourself and how do you handle it? Kindly share in the comment section.

Thank you for reading. Xoxo.